Week 38. Visiting my OBGYN once a week now. Starting to finalize details on my natural birth plan. Then the question to my doctor:
– So what days would you NOT be with me?
He is one of the older doctors, so he is not on call for middle of the night births, or weekends, either.
– Ana, I’m actually not going to be there.
– WHAT!? (Not just in my mind. Said out loud, really loud.)
My doctor is leaving on a vacation the week before my delivery date. He assures me everything will be ok with whatever doctor is on call, and if the baby isn’t here when he comes back, it will be him delivering the baby. I REALLY wanted my doctor to be with me. I like him, he likes me (I think!?), we have gone over my birth plan and he is ok with all my crazy stuff: Natural birth, professional photographer in the room, doula, essential oils everywhere! He assures me again, all doctors will be ok, and he signs my birth plan so I can show it to whoever doctor I get that day.
Time to let go of my perfectionism, let go of my planning ahead, trust GOD, trust people around me, and embrace whatever comes. It’s not the end of the world. It’s going to be perfect. The baby is healthy and will be born whenever, wherever, and with whoever he/she chooses. Not me, not my doctor, when the BABY chooses to.